In what critics (me) are calling the emotional journey (educational video) of the year, The School of Lifebreaks down why it is impossible for exes who truly loved one another to remain friends after they break up.
The video itself does a beautiful job explaining what we all might have suspected or experienced personally after a breakup but were incapable of explaining why we felt that way.
Take a deep breathe because the illustrations used in the video are impactful to say the least, and identifying with either the person doing the breaking up or the person broken up with is painful:
The School of Life explains many of the reasons why exesmight try to remain friends, and it seems both sides have good intentions.
According to the video, those of us who decide to end our relationships oftenhope to remain friends because we 1) are fond of the person we once spent so much time with and 2) dont want to feel guilty or like an emotionally detachedmonster kicking someone elses feelings to the curb.
For the person beingdumped, it makes sense that the prospect of friendship feels like a way to salvage at least some partof a relationship that meant so much to them.
For the person doing the dumping, there is a big difference between deciding you arent prepared to spend your life with someone and hating them entirely.
The video explainsthat by aiming to remain friends, people arelooking for a way to memorialize a period of genuine importance (i.e. the relationship itself).
However, this kind of arrangementis unhealthy for both sides.
No matter how positive and clearheaded the person who is broken up with may feel, being put in the friend zone after a meaningful relationship will always feel embarrassing like somewhat of a demotion.
Additionally, each encounter with their ex causes a smallflicker of hope to ignite. But each meeting becomes anothersmallrejection when the night ends without getting back together.
For the person who did the dumping, spending time with their ex will be a constant reminder of the pain or hurt theyve caused someone, often inciting feelings of guilt, remorse or insecurity.
So what are two kind humans who just arent right for each other supposed to do?
Well, The School of Life suggests replacing friendship with civil distance and keeping the relationship in a safe space AKA in our memories.
To truly move forward, we must move apart from one another, thinking back on the relationship with fondness instead of looking at it as a failure. This will allow both people to get on with their lives in a happier, healthier way.
Now, everyone call in a sick day and google pictures ofpuppies to make yourself feel better.